9 reasons why I am not a Twilight fan

A seventeen year old high school student with a centuries old man. Pedophilia, anyone?

1. The length: One fine morning Stephanie Meyer woke up from a nightmare and told herself she could write. The product was the Twilight series. Inundated with horrible grammatical errors and overused adjectives the plot (or lack thereof) has been extended over four books. It  is excruciating.

2.Pedophilia: If it isn’t a seventeen year old falling in love with an old vampire, it is a werewolf falling for an infant. The author needs therapy for her convoluted imagination.

3. The hype: The frenzy around the books is inexplicable. What I fail to understand is how and when the human brain stooped so low as to obsess over a trashy piece of literature that is nothing but an assortment of clichéd themes. It is amazing how Twilight fans go rabid over the mere mention of the fact that the books totally suck.

4. The films: As if the books were not enough to torture the masses, some intelligent people thought it’s best to make movies out of them too and exploit teenage minds further

Shoania, the movie!

Shoaib Malik and Sania Mirza may have thought the speculation about their lives would end once they finally tied the knot, but the two are mistaken.

The near-month long saga featuring the bizarre love triangle of a girl called Ayesha Siddiqui, Pakistani cricketer Shoaib Malik and Indian tennis player Sania Mirza is now being turned into a film titled Hyderabadi Damaad.

But Sania Mirza is, predictably enough, rather mad at this latest intrusion into the newly-married couple’s life.

Will Veena put a ring on it?

Veena Malik is a successful comedian and actor who won kudos for her impersonations of Pakistani politicians. PHOTO: PUBLICITY

Wedding bells are ringing for actor and comedian Veena Malik now that her Prince Charming has arrived from the US.

Confirming the news during a press conference, Malik’s father told reporters that the wedding has been postponed owing to Malik’s busy schedule.

For now, she is not tying the knot with Faisal Akbar, son of Major Akbar Khan. Instead an engagement ceremony will take place on June 7 in Islamabad.

Both the families have invited only close associates at the event, which will be held at a local hotel.

Who remembers Fifty Fifty?

Fifty Fifty remains one of the most groundbreaking television productions to have aired in Pakistan.

KARACHI: Decades after the show ended its run on state-run television, Fifty Fifty remains one of the most groundbreaking television productions to have aired in Pakistan.

A satire show with exemplary sketches – and starring young actors who are still leading television stars – Shoaib Mansoor’s Fifty Fifty took on everything from cultural phenomena like the ‘Dubai chalo’ wave, the impact of Michael Jackson’s music or the fixation with speaking English.

Here’s my personal list of the best sketches presented on the show. Feel free to add your own in the comments section

Stringing along

10 years ago, the musical landscape of Pakistan – and the way musicians were promoted – changed for the better.

Fans of the band that they had thought defunct were stunned to see billboards bearing the images of Bilal Maqsood and Faisal Kapadia gracing the skyline. The album the duo released that year – Duur – went on to become a massive phenomenon, and it was hard to find an Indian television channel that wasn’t blaring the first single off the album, “Duur”. The way the album and the videos were promoted and made propelled musicians to up their game, and the near-defunct music scene saw the birth, in the years to follow, of bands such as Noori, Jal and EP.

10 years, several Bollywood songs and collaborations and high-profile corporate deals later, Strings are set to make yet another splash.